This week has challenged me. In a different way than most.
I had a birthday that I had no desire what-so-ever to 'celebrate'. The physical struggle after my eye surgery has been so great that I'm feeling depleted. And a big, fat, shining reminder that I'm aging wasn't what I needed. [Thanks millions to all my friends who wished me happy birthday. May we celebrate next year?]
My new laptop that I purchased two weeks ago (after mine blue-screened) bluescreened! So I dutifully took it back to Bestbuy for a replacement. I replaced it with the same make & model, and when I got that one home the wifi didn't work. So I dutifully took the second (2nd) computer back to Bestbuy for a replacement. I changed make & model this time, and when I got that one home the power switch was faulty. So I dutifully took the third (3rd) computer back to Bestbuy for a replacement. I changed make & model again and now I'm on my fourth (4th) computer! [At least this fourth works. And I've finally completed the music section on my website (http://www.little-bear-productions.com/outdoors.html), now that I have a working computer!]
I'm still dealing with some headaches and dizziness. While I'm a lot more mobile now than I have been since my eye surgery, I also have several physical limitations I didn't have before my surgery. And now that I'm regaining some strength, I'm frustrated that I'm not 100%. A) I have to rest my eyes frequently. That can make the difference between an 1-hour headache, or a 5-hour headache. B) Sometimes I just can't see much at all. And that's pretty scary. C) Sometimes I feel as if a bullet went thru my head. D) Sometimes I get so dizzy that I stagger like I'm drunk. E) My confidence is waning. [But I am seeing slight improvement, which helps. And I finally have a neurologist appointment scheduled for December 22nd.]
And as much as I'm tired of sounding like a broken record, I suspect my friends are tiring of hearing it. I'm very aware that everyone else has their own lives, and are struggling with their own issues. I only wish I had more strength to better lend them a hand, too. [So I thank you all for the friendship you offer, as it truly means a lot to me. Especially in the quiet moments.]
Up until now my spirits have been pretty good. This week has really challenged me.
So I think what I need to do is try my best to count my blessings, and look for more inspiration.
- This week I'm grateful that I got to trim the Christmas tree with Greg & Neil, and their adorable 3-year-old daughter, Elle. Thanks for the holiday cheer!
- I'm grateful to Hot Toddy for his love and humor across the miles.
- I'm grateful that I'm going to see Cher tomorrow for lunch.
- I'm grateful that I got to see Susie-Q, if only for a few minutes to giggle in the rain. Hopefully Christmas Jim will feel better soon.
- I'm grateful to Shoshana for her support & musings thru the miles.
- I'm grateful to Martin for his friendship & smiles, always. You see me so well.
- I'm grateful that I'm going to spend time with Bradd for Xmas.
- I'm grateful to Larry for his trust, and his ferocious appetite for brownies.
- I'm grateful to Johnny Boy for his friendship & watching the fireworks in the rain. It was nice to get out.
performed by R.E.M.
Everybody Hurts by R.E.M.